I learned this morning that the awful satanic 80's hairbands that were supposed to lead us all to jump of a cliff en masse have this instant allure to children. I have learned that while our parents were yelling at us to turn it down and never ever ever play it backwards we were absolutely powerless. We had no choice, they hooked us, 80's hairbands may be the most potent drug known to man. One snippet of a song and you're toast. And they are inter generational too! Please read carefully my tale of woe and never make the mistake I did.
I've spent years nay decades protecting my precious little gifts from the evils of heavy metal music. Their world has been filled with positive uplifting music that is "safe for the whole family" (also known as Contemporary Christian Music) that is after they graduated from The Wiggles and Disney Princesses. I've tuned the radio in my car to only one station. I've reviewed and approved every song on their iTunes playlists. In short I've done everything possible to shield them from the evils of Pop Culture. (Okay not everything, my 6 year old's first compound word was Sponge Bob --which I believed was harmless fun until last week) So, I've been a bit remiss in the TV category, but definitely not in music choices. Until Monday 9/19 at 7:07 AM.
At that precise moment I was driving my youngest two darlings to before school care and forgetting I had children in the car, I played my "Teenage Angst" Playlist. My cherubic 10 year old tween and precious innocent 6 year old baby girl have been singing "We're not Gonna Take it" by Twisted Sister ever since. They asked me to play "Eye of the Tiger" this morning. My sweet innocent tween who sang "You are More" by Tenth Avenue North for the school talent show last year, he was clamoring for "Juke Box Hero".
Now some parents might feel this is something to be proud of, I have passed on my love of Heavy Metal to my offspring. But this is wrong. I have passed on a curse. I'm sure of it, our parents (and Tipper Gore) told us this music caused people to commit violent crimes and worship Satan and all sorts of other atrocities. And there is no way they would have lied to us, right?
Let this be a warning to all of you.