Get on with it already!

Recently I’ve had a front row seat to watching two people who are close to me wrestle with Christianity. They are both very similar in their personalities and neither of them is willing to grant God the control He desires in their lives. I stand back in amazement at both of them. I just can’t understand where they are. I really try to be there for them and answer their questions, but I am really having trouble relating.


I really don’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t a Christian. I DO remember well times in my life when I tried to be in control, but I was a Christian, just a “Backslidin’ Baptist” as we’re called. I’ve made many mistakes in my life, I’ve chosen many wrong paths and I done many things I am not very proud of, but through all of those God has been with me. He carried me sometimes, held me sometimes, walked beside me sometimes and just generally was there for me always. To say He has protected me is understatement, He has blessed me way beyond what I deserve and continues to do so daily.

One of the people I’m watching thinks that being a Christian and having faith means all doubts are erased. You never doubt again. I know that isn’t true, I’ve seen all kinds of mature Christians doubt. One of Jesus’ own disciples doubted his resurrection, and that earned him the moniker ‘Doubting Thomas’. Abraham doubted, Noah doubted, Moses doubted, Jonah doubted and yet they all play important roles in our faith. They are all held up as examples of good and faithful servants.

The other believes she is not good enough to be loved, by anyone especially God. That one is easy for me, none of us are. That’s what makes Jesus’ death on the cross so spectacular. Christians are not perfect, we are just forgiven. When God looks at us he looks through the lens of Jesus. And as Christians we reflect Him not ourselves. He sees the Perfect and Holy One, not our sinful selves.

I get frustrated as I watch them both struggle through their lives trying to be all things to everyone and never relying on the One through which all things are possible. They both need to be all to everyone because then they believe they are in control of their lives, but they really aren’t, it’s an illusion – or delusion as the case may be. They believe giving up control is perhaps the worst thing they could ever do.

They think becoming a Christian means something it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean missing your old life, leaving your old friends and becoming someone different than who you are. It means living with a peace that surpasses all understanding. It means giving your troubles, burdens and heaviness to God. But it also means giving Him the credit for your successes, your joys and your wins. It means following Him, allowing Him to drive and leaning on Him before you have tried everything else.

Prayer is not a 9-1-1 call, it’s not a last ditch effort, it’s not even a Plan B. It’s Plan A and there is no Plan B. It’s trusting Him to give you what you need. It’s trusting Him to be in control. This isn’t necessarily easy for me, but I’m getting better with it (most days). I just wish I could get them to understand you’re not a Christian because you’ve become a saint, you’re a Christian because you’re a sinner.

The dream

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV


Last night God woke me up to share that Bible Verse with me. I've read it before. The first part is a favorite of Karen Kingsbury's and she uses it in many of her novels. The first verse tells us all what God wants to do for us. The 2nd and 3rd verses tell us what we have to do to receive his promises. I've fallen away lately. Over the past 2 years, I have not been the Christian God has called me to be.


I have tried to control my own life. I have tried to manage my life. I was saying to God "Thanks for the offer but really, I've got this." Last night he woke me from the dead of sleep with a very simple message, "No, Elisabeth, I've got this." And with that simple statement I let it all go. All the worries, all the stresses, all the fears, I let it go. And I have a lightness of being I haven't felt in so many years.


I'm currently working a job. It's not a bad job, it's actually a pretty good job. It's definitely an easy job. So easy, in fact, I get bored. I wanted to quit. I wanted a challenge, I wanted to feel useful. Add to that I'm consulting and not getting paid regularly. The paying part was very frustrating. The company was being very difficult. The company was quite behind in paying me. I was worried. I was paying for all the associated costs of working but not getting paid. It was causing us finanancial strain.


I don't do well with financial strain. When I'm stressed, I shop. If I'm stressed and cannot shop, I get more stressed. And usually that manifests itself into a huge pounding migraine.

Yesterday morning I was at the breaking point. I was yelling at my husband and he was yelling back. We decided we had a plan. I was going to find another job, and he was going to find a lawyer to sue this company for breach of contract. He was going to call them and give them the what-for as soon as he got to work. He didn't have much on calendar yesterday anyway. The more we drove in seperate cars coming up with this plan the more my head hurt. But wait we had a plan now, my head shoul,d not have been hurting. I should have felt relief not stress. I should be feeling better not worse. I mean this company had it coming to them. They did not behave as Christians, they did not keep their word and I was suffering.

And then a funny thing happened. My headache got so bad I had to leave work and go home. No all out searching for a job for me. Meanwhile, my husband's "one little thing" on calendar took all day to resolve. He never got the chance to make that phone call. He was so busy he couldn't even take a call from the company when they called to let him know they were releasing another check.

Yesterday afternoon, we decided to wait it out. But next time we were definitely doing it. I mean after all they were still 9 weeks past due. Yeah they paid so what, they still owe. ALOT. But my headache finally began to ease up.

And so, God seeing that he had not gotten my attention decided to interrupt my sleep last night with a beautiful and comforting dream. And he decided to tell me, "I've got this." I still don't know what his plans are. But I do know he will reveal to me what I need to know when I need to know it. Even if it's in the dead of night.

I also know that he is the God of the Universe and he can handle anything. And he wants to. I just have to Let go and Let God.