Change

Is supposed to be good for the soul.

Is supposed to be something we embrace.

Is supposed to be a gift from God.

Is not something I am good at.

On Tuesday November 2, I hit a pothole on my way home from work.  This caused my airbag to deploy.  This caused my car to be in the shop until today.  This caused me to be in a loaner car.  The loaner car was the same model as my car, only newer.  I was not comfortable in the loaner.

It wasn't my car.  It didn't drive the same. It didn't feel the same.  It didn't even look the same.  It was different.  

Not bad different actually in many ways better (than my car) different.  But still it was change.  Change I did  not predict, change I was not prepared for and change I did not want.

I hoped to be back in my car the week the pothole happened.  I knew I was starting a new job which was going to be more change and I needed some consistency.  I was right.  I have been completely overwhelmed the past few weeks.  I am not sleeping.  I am not eating.  I am short tempered, frustrated and on the verge of tears.

Someone out there has to be thinking "all this over a car?"  But it's not just a car.  This car was a gift to me from my husband.  And it was the consistency in a swirling, changing world.  Since he bought me my car, my daughter has gone from age 2 to age 5.  My oldest son has gone from his first year in high school to a Junior.  My second oldest son has gone from a 7th grader to High school.  And my youngest son has gone from 2nd grade to his last year in Elementary school.

I have left what I believed (when I took it) was my dream job, I have spent time at home not working, I went from being a smoker to a non-smoker, we have completed 4 of our home renovation projects -- in a nutshell, in nearly 3 years, Life (with a capital "L") has happened.  And yet my car except for a ding and dirty carpets has remained the same.  It's still the beautiful, thoughtful, loving, considerate Valentine's Day Gift my husband gave in 2008 and every time I get in, I am reminded in a very concrete, tangible way that he is a beautiful, thoughtful, loving, considerate human being.  And I am the love of his life.

Maybe not so much has changed after all.

30 Days of Thanksgiving Day 5

Today I as I prepare to leave my old job to start my new one on Monday, I am Thankful for so many things.

1- I have a job in an economy where so many don't.
2- I have had the joy of working with fantastic people.
3- My new job is exciting and a slightly new field for me.

I am just so thankful that I have the opportunity to begin a new exciting job on Monday.

30 days of Thankful

I am thankful for my husband.  Specifically his ability to remodel houses.

Last night we were watching Renovation Realities and two guys were creating a "man cave" except they didn't even know how to hang a window.  Even I know how to hang a window, theoretically speaking of course.  As in I could instruct someone who would use a level and a tape measure to hang it straight and all, but I know what needs to happen.  Like that you have to frame it and all.  (More than the apparent jackasses on the show)

I also knew that you don't put little 12x12 linoleum squares on a concrete floor of a garage.  For three really apparent reasons:

A) It's gonna be one flipping cold floor.
B) If you don't care about A because you never go barefoot, get rolls of linoleum, not 12x12 squares.
C) When you convert a garage to "living space" you have to level out the floor.  Garages are made to drain run off from your car out to the driveway, so they are sloped.

Now of course my husband has know this for a long time.  He poured the floor of our 3-car garage himself.  Complete with slope.  HE also has as his first job in the old garage conversion to ........ you guessed it ..... level out the floor.

On top of his clearly superior building knowledge, his renovations provide me hours of entertainment.

Tonight as he was painting over some spackling he had put to fix cracks in the walls a la teenaged boys, my daughter and he have the following conversation.

Daddy, why are you painting that?
I had to fix the walls from your brothers Bug-Bug.
Well, you did a really great job on the white, I'm proud of you, Daddy.

Me: cracking up.

30 days of Thankful

Tuesday on my way home from work I had a small accident.  Honestly I didn't even consider it an accident at the time.  And if I did not have airbags, I wouldn't have called it an accident.  I would have said what it was, I hit a pot hole on I-80 and blew out a tire.  No biggie, happens everyday.

However, because of the aforementioned airbags a simple blown out tire becomes an accident.  Something hit a sensor on the underside of my car and deployed the driver's side airbags.  I drive a 2008 Acura TL, The driver's side airbags deploying cause the headliner to rip out of the ceiling of the car and the driver's seat to split open.  So a simple tire blow out causes major car repair (estimated $6K+).

But I am Thankful for airbags, which do save lives.  I am also thankful that my husband took care of everything.  I am most thankful that other than soreness from the seatbelt I am unharmed.

30 days of Thankful Vote

If you are educated on the issues and the candidates. Vote.

If you believe you owe it to those who fought and died for your freedom.  Vote.

If you believe your one vote can make a difference. Vote.

If you believe what sets our country apart from virtually every other country in the history of the World is Freedom.  Vote.

At every opportunity, whenever you are educated, always in all ways make your voice heard.  Vote.

I am thankful to live in a country where my voice can be heard through peaceful voting.

30 days of Thanksgiving

If you want to have a meaningful November, try thankfulness. I got the info from Lisa at Lisa Notes.

For the 5th year in a row, Rebecca at RebeccaWrites is hosting 30 days of giving thanks at her “November of Thanksgiving” celebration.

So for my first day:

This past Saturday, my husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.

And by celebrated I mean we demolished the interior of the "old" garage to prepare for converting it to a Great Room.  After that the kids and I shopped for last minute costume accessories for Halloween the next day.

And I went to bed early with a Sinus infection.

It's a long way from some of our more grand Anniversaries.

There's absolutely no doubt we love eachother.  And we show it in little ways everyday.  He brings me my coffe in bed.  I pack his lunch.  He stops in the middle of the day to text me that he loves me.  I call him on the way home to tell him that I love him.

The children in the house know the quickest way to get on Dad's bad side is to disrespect me.  More than once they have been corrected for not saying "Yes Ma'am."  And God help them if they are more disrespectful than that.

I recently read a book by Andy Stanley, about half way through he talks about his children and how he expects they will respect their mother.  And then he makes a statement something to the tune of "What you value the most, you protect the most."

Until I read that line, I never realized that by training our sons (and daughter) to respect me, he was in fact expressing a whole hearted, fully overflowing deep down love that will last a lifetime.  And this is perhpas the most important and treasured gift he has ever given me.

I am thankful for the comfortable, devoted love we have for eachother.