Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I felt God calling

Late last Friday, on the occasion of my husband's 40-something-th birthday, I felt God calling. My technology use (computer, iPhone etc.) has long been an issue in my marriage and quite frankly my life. I seem to have a tendency towards OCD in this department. I can spend hours online when I meant only to pop in and look for a specific email. I know this is something many of us struggle with. Adding a blog to my "online vices" doesn't help the situation.

So my husband -- being my husband -- wanted nothing for his birthday. That is he did not want me to buy him anything. Except for maybe a new Honda cafe style motorcycle and since finances ruled that one out, I was back to square one.

Last Friday afternoon as I was surfing the web, yet again, I heard "Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)." Be still, hmmmm a mother of 4 commanded to be still? No really, God what is it that you want me to do? I believed God wanted my time. He wanted my attention, he wanted my thoughts.

So I gave it to him. All weekend no online. I wasn't still but my thoughts were. I was focused on the thing that I was doing at the moment. Those things were varied. At one moment I was watching my daughter play soccer, but I actually watched her. I didn't facebook, I didn't text -- I watched her. Another moment I was with her at a birthday party. Again with her. Wholly and completely with her.

Later I was reading a book I'm reviewing for Booksneeze "Seeds of turmoil". I wasn't flipping back and forth between the book and Drudge Report, I was reading. I was focused on whatever God needed me to hear.

Sunday afternoon, I was truly still for about 4 hours after I made dinner I was still. I laid on the couch, semi-reading, semi-cuddling the dogs, semi-listening to my children sing songs they heard in Sunday School that morning. And that has made all the difference.

I feel more at peace this week. I'm less frustrated. I am more here (where ever I am) than I feel like I've been in months. And yesterday, when my husband and I took the day off together, I barely looked at my facebook all day. I think he appreciated it.

I think I'm going off the grid every weekend from now on.

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