Mixed Messages --Quick Hit

On my way to work the other day I was behind a car with the following bumper Stickers:


On the Passenger side of the back of the car it said:
Keep Honking, I'm Reloading.


And below that another sticker said:
Terrorist Hunting Permit.


On the Driver's side it said:
God is my Co-Pilot


And below that it said:
God loves you and I'm really trying.


Any chance the person who put those stickers sees the irony in the Mixed Messages?

Sophie -- How I love that little dog.

This is one of the earliest pictures I have of Sophie,
she was 4 weeks in this pic.

In April 2009, we found two beautiful souls.  It didn't hurt that they are also adorable little Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.  the whole family fell in love.  We brought them to live with our family in June 2009.  Shortly after that we noticed something wrong with Sophie's eye.  We took her to our vet and he said it was cherry eye.  She was still so young and small so we needed to wait to have the surgery to fix it.

After we brought her home

Her favorite sleeping position as a puppy

Yes, the cat is sleeping ON her.

 So we waited.  In November of 2009, we had the surgery.  It seemed to be fine.  But about 2 weeks afterwards, out came the cherry eye again, and her eye was clouding up.  We took her back to the vet.  She had reacted to the sutures.  They were removed and it looked like we had done nothing.

Christmas 2010

My absolute favorite picture of her

Today I am in Philadelphia with our beautiful little soul once again under anesthesia, hoping against hope that this time her eye is fixed and that once again she comes out of anesthesia.  I really do love this little dog.

Over a month.

I'm sorry.  I owe you all the "yous" out there who had been reading my blog more and better than that.  And with that I ask for your forgiveness and promise to try to do better in the future.  And I truly hope and expect many of you will forgive me and we will move on.

That really seems so easy doesn't it?  It seems so easy to just ask for forgiveness and promise to try to do better.  And most of us would be (and are) offended when we are expected just to grant forgiveness.  And yet we are.  We --those of us who are Christians-- are called upon to grant forgiveness.  Just like Jesus does for us everyday.

My husband often tells my children I am the most faithful and blessed person he knows.  I tell my children in spite of their father's blindness, I sin at least once before I get out of bed every morning.  I'm not perfect, and neither are they.  Nobody in this world is.  We all sin and fall short of the Glory of God.  That's why he gave us Jesus.  Jesus paid the price for every one of the sins I have committed and will commit yet.

And every day I wake up, usually sin first, then pray that God forgives my sins from the day before and helps me to sin less than I did yesterday.  And everyday I probably sin about the same as I did the day before.  (For the curious my in the bed sin is usually thinking bad thoughts about the makers of alarm clocks, and other things that wake me from my sleep)

So if we are all supposed to expect God to forgive us and we are supposed to forgive each other, why do we get so bent out of shape when someone asks for forgiveness and expects it?

Change

Is supposed to be good for the soul.

Is supposed to be something we embrace.

Is supposed to be a gift from God.

Is not something I am good at.

On Tuesday November 2, I hit a pothole on my way home from work.  This caused my airbag to deploy.  This caused my car to be in the shop until today.  This caused me to be in a loaner car.  The loaner car was the same model as my car, only newer.  I was not comfortable in the loaner.

It wasn't my car.  It didn't drive the same. It didn't feel the same.  It didn't even look the same.  It was different.  

Not bad different actually in many ways better (than my car) different.  But still it was change.  Change I did  not predict, change I was not prepared for and change I did not want.

I hoped to be back in my car the week the pothole happened.  I knew I was starting a new job which was going to be more change and I needed some consistency.  I was right.  I have been completely overwhelmed the past few weeks.  I am not sleeping.  I am not eating.  I am short tempered, frustrated and on the verge of tears.

Someone out there has to be thinking "all this over a car?"  But it's not just a car.  This car was a gift to me from my husband.  And it was the consistency in a swirling, changing world.  Since he bought me my car, my daughter has gone from age 2 to age 5.  My oldest son has gone from his first year in high school to a Junior.  My second oldest son has gone from a 7th grader to High school.  And my youngest son has gone from 2nd grade to his last year in Elementary school.

I have left what I believed (when I took it) was my dream job, I have spent time at home not working, I went from being a smoker to a non-smoker, we have completed 4 of our home renovation projects -- in a nutshell, in nearly 3 years, Life (with a capital "L") has happened.  And yet my car except for a ding and dirty carpets has remained the same.  It's still the beautiful, thoughtful, loving, considerate Valentine's Day Gift my husband gave in 2008 and every time I get in, I am reminded in a very concrete, tangible way that he is a beautiful, thoughtful, loving, considerate human being.  And I am the love of his life.

Maybe not so much has changed after all.

30 Days of Thanksgiving Day 5

Today I as I prepare to leave my old job to start my new one on Monday, I am Thankful for so many things.

1- I have a job in an economy where so many don't.
2- I have had the joy of working with fantastic people.
3- My new job is exciting and a slightly new field for me.

I am just so thankful that I have the opportunity to begin a new exciting job on Monday.

30 days of Thankful

I am thankful for my husband.  Specifically his ability to remodel houses.

Last night we were watching Renovation Realities and two guys were creating a "man cave" except they didn't even know how to hang a window.  Even I know how to hang a window, theoretically speaking of course.  As in I could instruct someone who would use a level and a tape measure to hang it straight and all, but I know what needs to happen.  Like that you have to frame it and all.  (More than the apparent jackasses on the show)

I also knew that you don't put little 12x12 linoleum squares on a concrete floor of a garage.  For three really apparent reasons:

A) It's gonna be one flipping cold floor.
B) If you don't care about A because you never go barefoot, get rolls of linoleum, not 12x12 squares.
C) When you convert a garage to "living space" you have to level out the floor.  Garages are made to drain run off from your car out to the driveway, so they are sloped.

Now of course my husband has know this for a long time.  He poured the floor of our 3-car garage himself.  Complete with slope.  HE also has as his first job in the old garage conversion to ........ you guessed it ..... level out the floor.

On top of his clearly superior building knowledge, his renovations provide me hours of entertainment.

Tonight as he was painting over some spackling he had put to fix cracks in the walls a la teenaged boys, my daughter and he have the following conversation.

Daddy, why are you painting that?
I had to fix the walls from your brothers Bug-Bug.
Well, you did a really great job on the white, I'm proud of you, Daddy.

Me: cracking up.

30 days of Thankful

Tuesday on my way home from work I had a small accident.  Honestly I didn't even consider it an accident at the time.  And if I did not have airbags, I wouldn't have called it an accident.  I would have said what it was, I hit a pot hole on I-80 and blew out a tire.  No biggie, happens everyday.

However, because of the aforementioned airbags a simple blown out tire becomes an accident.  Something hit a sensor on the underside of my car and deployed the driver's side airbags.  I drive a 2008 Acura TL, The driver's side airbags deploying cause the headliner to rip out of the ceiling of the car and the driver's seat to split open.  So a simple tire blow out causes major car repair (estimated $6K+).

But I am Thankful for airbags, which do save lives.  I am also thankful that my husband took care of everything.  I am most thankful that other than soreness from the seatbelt I am unharmed.

30 days of Thankful Vote

If you are educated on the issues and the candidates. Vote.

If you believe you owe it to those who fought and died for your freedom.  Vote.

If you believe your one vote can make a difference. Vote.

If you believe what sets our country apart from virtually every other country in the history of the World is Freedom.  Vote.

At every opportunity, whenever you are educated, always in all ways make your voice heard.  Vote.

I am thankful to live in a country where my voice can be heard through peaceful voting.

30 days of Thanksgiving

If you want to have a meaningful November, try thankfulness. I got the info from Lisa at Lisa Notes.

For the 5th year in a row, Rebecca at RebeccaWrites is hosting 30 days of giving thanks at her “November of Thanksgiving” celebration.

So for my first day:

This past Saturday, my husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.

And by celebrated I mean we demolished the interior of the "old" garage to prepare for converting it to a Great Room.  After that the kids and I shopped for last minute costume accessories for Halloween the next day.

And I went to bed early with a Sinus infection.

It's a long way from some of our more grand Anniversaries.

There's absolutely no doubt we love eachother.  And we show it in little ways everyday.  He brings me my coffe in bed.  I pack his lunch.  He stops in the middle of the day to text me that he loves me.  I call him on the way home to tell him that I love him.

The children in the house know the quickest way to get on Dad's bad side is to disrespect me.  More than once they have been corrected for not saying "Yes Ma'am."  And God help them if they are more disrespectful than that.

I recently read a book by Andy Stanley, about half way through he talks about his children and how he expects they will respect their mother.  And then he makes a statement something to the tune of "What you value the most, you protect the most."

Until I read that line, I never realized that by training our sons (and daughter) to respect me, he was in fact expressing a whole hearted, fully overflowing deep down love that will last a lifetime.  And this is perhpas the most important and treasured gift he has ever given me.

I am thankful for the comfortable, devoted love we have for eachother.

It was a good run....

While it lasted.

The Staying on Green thing.  It lasted 14 days.  And then on Tuesday bam!  She skated right past yellow straight to red.  Then the following day she got stuck on yellow.  Which means she timed her poor behavior late enough in the day she was unable to come back from it or (much more likely) she was a total pill and made no attempt to recover.

Apparently The Princess was telling her friends at lunch that Vampires were going to eat them.  Makes me so proud.  She made a little boy cry.  Good times. Yes, this will surely go down in my proud memories journal.

Yeah, no not so much.  Her big brother is however beamingly proud of her, following in his footsteps and all.

So we have a run of 14 days, solid green and then she falls off the wagon and goes for broke?  Why?

I really don't get it.

Absolutely Horrified

So my followers should know by now I am starting a new job.  The process for starting this new job has been arduous, revealing and a little bit whole lotta undignified.  First, after multiple interviews, I had to take a personality test.  At the time I found that a bit off putting, however because of it, I will not be doing as a focus one of the things I really hate.  Thank you, weird little personality test for telling them I sooooooo would hate to time meetings and take minutes. as a full time job anyway.  But even though it worked out in my favor in the end I was very freaked about someone getting into my head.  I also spent more than a few moments worried I might fail.  How fun would that be to explain, "Yeah I failed a personality test -- turns out I have none."

So that hurdle behind me I thought, I'm in like Flynn.  And then there were two --more hurdles I mean.  Next came a very probing background check which I found very confusing.  It asked for other names I have used in the past seven years.  While I was pretty confident they did not mean like "Mommy" or "Snookie-Poo" I wasn't sure exactly what to put there.  I've been married for 11 years (almost) but the Social Security Administration did not change my maiden name until like 2005-ish.  So I was pretty sure that fell within the seven year rule.  But I hemmed and hawed over it and clicked the Continue button.  On the back page it summed everything up and showed no different name under "Names used in school".  Now seriously, is this test only for recent grads?  Am I the only who they hire who has been married more than seven years?  Really???  So I clicked back to page one and added my Maiden name.  I left out my first married name because I have been divorced more than seven years and quite frankly felt that was nobody's business -- Although to be fair most people guess it anyway because of the age difference between my oldest and youngest.. Once again I passed the background. Whew, now seriously I must be done with this whole process?  right?

Sorry, once again I was wrong.  The last and most undignified test was yet to come.  Yes, I had to take a drug test.  I have been on the internet a very long time and I've "met" many people who strike you as normal, upstanding, law abiding citizens until in one of the confessions threads they admit to smoking pot -- regularly.  So knowing this, you would think I would not have been surprised, nay creeped out at being asked to provide a sample.  Really?  Me?

So yesterday at lunch I went to this tiny Dr.'s office-like setting on my lunch hour to finally wrap up this hiring process.  And I felt dirty and cheap.  I've had to take drug tests before for employment.  And every time I've felt dirty and cheap.  It's who I am.  I am perhaps a transplant from another era.  I believe that person's word should count for something.  And generally I take people at their word.  This causes me to be burnt from time to time, and that does suck.  But the alternative is to live a cynical existence trusting no one and expecting everyone to get you when they can.  I can't live like that.

I don't want to.

What failure is not.

So I guess I'm kinda on a roll.  My post on Monday outlined what I am not.  And today I will explain why starting 3 jobs in one 365-day period is not failure.  Technically it's 356 days, but you get the idea....

As you can see this year has been a series of literal false starts.  I started just over a year ago desperate and lacking confidence.  I was coming off months of being unable to find a job.  This had never really happened to me. My occupation for the better part of the last decade has been in high demand.  I'm a person who understands FDA Regulations for the Pharmaceutical Industry and can communicate them in a way that doesn't always immediately piss people off.  I can in virtually any audience get at least one person who will at least reluctantly agree with me.  I communicate the neccessary evil. 

So I live in what is perhaps the Pharmaceutical Company Capital of the world, the state of New Jersey.  Everyone in New Jersey knows at least one person who is employed in the Pharmaceutical Industry.  I read a statistic that in 1997 according to census data roughly 7% of the entire population of the state is employed in the pharma industry.  I'm sure that number is higher once the numbers from the most recent census come out.  But in either case that's a lot of people.

So here I am in the best place in the country to be in my chosen profession and I can't find a job.  I can't even get an interview.  Month after month, job posting after job posting, nothing.  Then finally I get a call.

It wasn't ideal, it wasn't a great fit, it was a stretch, and even worse one of the hiring managers told me so at the interview.  The Client I was to be "managing" was difficult.  The contract had been in dispute for months.  The client flat out did not trust the company I was signing on with.  I was expected to turn it around, when the client felt I didn't know what I needed to know.

It was hell.  I was working all the time.  One day last February I was taking a day off.  I was supposed to go to Harrisburg to spend the weekend with a friend.  I couldn't get out of my house.  At one point I felt like I had Tourette's.  Every time I would start to pack, or get stuff together, my iPhone would ding I had mail.  And immediately I was pulling the phone out of the holster and clicking on the mailbox.  On a vacation day.

And yet I hung on.  I gave it all I had.  I went to Bulgaria twice in a 60 day period.  I just kept figuring I wasn't working hard enough.  So I was online 16 hours a day, even weekends.  To the point that my husband was frustrated.  I kept working, kept trying, kept learning.  I've never been one to quit until all other options are exhausted.

Finally in April, I was laid off.  I was on the one hand relieved, I couldn't have stood the pressure cooker much longer.  And on the other hand I was terrified.  I was barely 6 months past looking for a job.  I panicked.  As a result I took the first job I found.  It was also not a great fit, but much more in my comfort zone.  It was something I hated doing, but at least I knew I did it well.

Three months in I was bored to tears.  I went from a pressure cooker to a job where I was completely unproductive.  I did nothing all day.  I can't do this.  I feel like I'm taking advantage of people.  I feel like it's morally wrong.  I worked on a book I wanted to write, I blogged, I wrote book reviews, I searched for a new job, I did a lot of things that brought no value to the company paying for my time.  And I constantly told my Supervisor, I had nothing to do.

So I took my time, I really researched the third job.  I know this is a good fit for me and my abilities.  The Company seems really great, and I expect great things from them.  So while I am starting my third job in 356 days I do expect this will be my last for a very long time.  And for the first time in nearly a year I am excited about going to work.

And this is why even though I'm starting my thrid job in less than a year I am not a failure. No, not like Nixon was not a crook, either.

Good News and Bad News

So the Good News is I have a new job, I start November 8th.  I'm very excited, I think this company will grow exponentially and I'm getting in on the ground floor.  I will be doing what I do best, solving problems, selling ideas and working with people.  I'm very excited about the opportunity.  I feel like I've bounced a few times now since leaving Johnson and Johnson and during this time I have learned what I am definitely not good at.

1) I'm not good at being a stay at home mom.  I love my kids, and enjoy spending time with them, but I guess I have worked for too long, I need a packed schedule and a feeling of accomplishment.  Clean clothes does not give me a feeling of accomplishment.

2) I'm not good at turning around problem clients, when I'm not 100% knowledgeable.  My first job after my failed sahm experiment was a Client Manager for an outsourced Help desk.  The Client was brutal.  The Help Desk was in Bulgaria.  I was not a good peacemaker in that situation.

3) I'm not good at being a world traveller.  I don't like leaving my family for weeks at a time and being in a place that is 7 hours ahead of my family's time zone.  And right now with all that is going on in the world, I don't really enjoy flying internationally.

4) I'm not good at being oncall 24-hours-7 days a week.  When one is the Client Manager of a 24x7 help desk, one is on call that often.  I received a few too many 3:00AM calls on a Saturday.

5) I'm not good at uncertainty.  I was given a layoff notice one Tuesday and had an interview the following Wednesday.  I need predictability.

6) I'm not good at working a job that doesn't really need me.  I've been able to blog because I've had no work to do.  I don't do well with no work.

7) It IS about the money.  I always thought it wasn't about the money for me, and it probably isn't to the extent that it is for my husband as an example.  But while I was not getting paid, I realized it is at least in some small part about the money.

8) I'm not good about long commutes.  As I've spent over 2 hours a day/5 days a week in my car for the last 6 months, I realize that my time with my children is too precious for that.

9) I'm not good at sitting all day.  I've gained 20 pounds since starting the new job and I do not like it.

10) I can trust God and he will help my situation.  This is perhaps the most important lesson of them all.

And the Bad News....

The new job will actually be work.  I'm trying to work on blogging at night when I get home, and hopefully I will be able to, with some regularity, but I don't think it will be 5 days/week. :(

All about Boo

Boo is my third son.  He's not part of the twosome that is D and J, by the mere fact that they are two years apart and he is 6 years younger.  He is also left out of a huge part of the family history.  We had a house fire.  The fire destroyed our home.  D was 7, J was 5 and Boo was in utero.  The big boys clearly remember the fire, they remember the house, they remember the temporary house, they remember staying at Grammy and Freepa's, they remember their Aunts and Uncles bringing clothes and toys and books.  And they remember D's school taking up a collection and presenting them with all kinds of toys and books and stuff shortly after the fire.

Boo has no recollection of this major family event, except the part that has become part of family lore.  Boo surely doesn't remember living in PA, in the house we rebuilt.  And he probably  doesn't remember moving to New Jersey, he was barely two at the time.  All he remembers is our house in New Jersey on two acres and this school he attends now and these things he knows.  And for this and many other reasons, Boo doesn't have the bond that D & J do.

And for that reason Boo thinks he is not as good.  D has the whole creative, literary, studious brother identity locked up.  J is our athlete and hardworker.  Boo thinks he offers nothing.  Nearly every adult around Boo sees his talents, his gifts, his offerings.  But Boo does not.  Boo is definitely a glass half empty kind of kid.  Most kids Boo's age don't get him.  This doesn't help.  He is too old for fourth grade.

Any chance he's given, he does this "politican thing" as I call it.  He gladhands.  He says "Hello, how are you doing?"  He tells the preacher on Sunday mornings "Great Sermon today Pastor, you really got to me."  He refers to God as "The Lord God Almighty".  What nine year old talks like that?  He's developed quite a reputation at church.  He's been assigned the Lead in the Christmas Pageant, he's our go-to prayer leader in Sunday School, there are adults who expect him to replace the Pastor, maybe soon.  One of the other members last week said "I no longer worry about what he's going to say during Children's time, instead I listen, because I usually learn something."  My response, "His Father and I still worry about what he's going to say." and I'm not really kidding.

How can I get Boo to see himself the way so many adults in his life see him?

Fifteen

Fifteen years ago right about now I was holding my little bald baby boy. 

Clearly from the picture you can see he had a face only a mother could love.  And love him I did.  He was bald and wall eyed and skinny for a very long time.

But even during his "not-so-cute" period he was full of life.  Even as we had him tested for multiple serious diseases, including Lymphoma, Cystic Fibrosis and Leukemia he was happy and bubbly.  Thank God, and because of God, all of those tests came back negative, but it sure was a long road to get there.  Even as I worried about how much he slept --and he slept a lot, he was a joy.  Out of all my four children, Jay-bone was the easiest baby.  He was happy and contented.  He didn't get upset, and just went with the flow.  He was the perfect baby for that time in my life.

His brother already demanded everyone's attention and resented Jason's mere existence.  In short his brother was a very typical two year old who wanted to be an only child.  The marriage between his father and I was already all but finished by the time he was born.  And would end shortly after his birth.

And he did eventually outgrow the "not-so-cute" period.  He was downright adorable for a long time.

 

But he was special.     He is amazing. 

 

He was and is a good heart.

   

He is my special blond boy.

 

He is exactly what this family needed.  

 

 

He loves his sister. 

He has been her favorite big brother 

since before she could talk.

He is an amazing athlete. 

He doesn't realize his talent, 

but one day he will.

 And yes, he is also an evil genius. 

He loves to get his brothers going.  

Especially Boo. 

They definitely have a love-hate relationship.

God sent him to keep his older brother in reality, 

 

his younger brother grounded and 

his sister on her pedestal.

And now he's 15.

Fifteen years ago I was holding a baby.

And now I hold the heart of an almost-man.

Vegetables and growing up

Sorry I wasn't here yesterday.  We took The Princess to see Veggie Tales Live.  It was all I expected and more.  And she had a blast.  She danced, she played, she ran about.  And as we were walking out she said "When I grow up I want to be a singer on stage."  Her father and I said "Uh huh" in a mindless absent way.

We had just sat through two hours of eight foot tall dancing Vegetables.  After driving two and a half hours to the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania.

When she said it again two and a half hours later, as we were almost home, we didn't really remember the first time.  But the statement that got me the second time was this.

"I want to be a singer and dancer on stage when I'm grown up, like ten."

Now from her vantage point of five, ten is double that --twice her current lifetime and gosh, that's gotta be old, right?

From his and my vantage points, No, not so much.

We explained to her that 10 was NOT grown up and Daddy even got her to agree to forty five.  But I think she just agreed to get us to shut up.

Invasion of the 5 year old body snatchers

Let me Preface this by saying nearly ALL my parenting/nanny/babysitting experience is of the masculine gender.  I took stock of all the children I've babysat over the years and yep, most of those  rug rats  treasures from above were of the male variety.  There were a couple of older sisters thrown in for good measure, but for the most part it was all boy.  And then I proceeded to have 3 of my very own.  And then finally God (probably tired of my pleading) blessed me with my own darling daughter.

Prior to my pregnancy with The Princess, I had sworn off red meat for 20 years.  I existed solely on fish and fowl.  And then about 3 months pregnant I went on the bacon cheeseburger diet.  At work I'd have a bacon, egg and cheese croissant and for lunch it was a bacon cheeseburger. I bought steaks and asked my husband to cook them.  He could not bring himself to do it.  This was one of my defining characteristics.  He was convinced an alien had invaded my body.  No clearly it was just my daughter.

Then she was born.  She delivered with her hand over her head, a mere four years after I delivered a 10 lb 9 ounce bouncing baby boy.  He was easier than her.  Apparently at one point I screamed (at the not-yet-born baby) "Get Out."  She wasn't keen on leaving the womb.

Finally we had her, our beautiful daughter (with a purple arm because it was bruised when she delivered WITH HER HAND OVER HER HEAD!!!).  And that was the last time we slept for 15 months.  Well actually that's not true.  We were known to rent a hotel room at the Hampton Inn down the road from our house while the kids were with a babysitter so we could reconnect as husband and wife catch a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

And at three months old while I tried to get her used to the formula the daycare was going to provide when she started, she proceeded to go on a hunger strike.  Hunger strike you say?  Yes, for 3 days she refused to eat. At 11 weeks old.  She did not like this new formula.  So we switched her back and provided the Formula to the daycare at our expense.  Thank you Miss Princess.


So now, the Princess is 5.  I have no idea what the heck is going on.  She came up to me the other day just bawling.  She and I were the only ones home so I know her minions ahem brothers didn't do anything.  So I asked, "What's wrong Beautiful?"  her response "I don't know."

Uh what?  Now I am feminine, but not girly.  I don't cry, really at all.  But if I do cry, you can bet I absolutely know why.  Most of my friends call my husband my "Wifey" because he's more sensitive than I am.  So I ask you all who have girls, What the heck?  What does one do when one's daughter cries and doesn't even know why?  While you're working on that one, I've got another scenario you can help me decode.

This morning she finally found her Twinkle Toes shoe that was missing.  So clearly she wants to wear the pair.  She gets dressed, and then insists on tying the shoe.  She does know how to tie, but since the Twinkle Toe has been missing it's been all Mary Janes all the time.  So her shoe tying is a bit rusty.  She was having trouble.  She starts crying --huh?  No there's no crying in shoe tying.  So with the boys I would have said something very sexist like "what are you -- a little girl?"  But clearly this doesn't have the same effect on a little girl as it does on say a little boy.

So please tell me this is going to improve, a lot and quickly.  If it's not then please lie like a rug.  Seriously.

Best non-Announcement Day Ever

So we all have those expected-to-be-important days in life, or what I call the "Announcement days".  Those are the days like births, marriages, parties, etc. where you send out either an announcement or an invite.  One way or another the card industry is getting some money for those days.  There's also generally a camera some where capturing the event for posterity.  We all live for the Announcement Days and our photo albums (physical or virtual) are filled with them.

Then there's a day like yesterday.  It began as just an ordinary Sunday.  We did plan to get pumpkins and while that's a tradition, it's definitely not Announcement worthy.  And then, it all changed.  It all started at Sunday School, one of the Pastors asked if the children were interested in participating in the Christmas Pageant.  I found this slightly odd, but I guess when you have 4 children, the powers that be want to know either you're in or you're out.  Four children in a Christmas Pageant in a small-ish Rural church can really change the make up.  I confirmed 75% participation, Mr. Cool (the ninth grader) wants no part of a Christmas Pageant.  The Pastor noted she wanted to speak to me later and off she went.

It was our turn (4th & 5th graders) to lead the group Sunday School Worship so we told the story of The Wall of Jericho and made it fall.  Hat tip to the King for the brick template and the red paint.  Boo was on cloud nine.  We had only 2 students show up so he was everything except the narrator.  He loved blowing the tin foil covered cardboard trumpet.

After Sunday School, the Pastor found us again and asked if Boo wanted to be the Lead in the Christmas Pageant.  And thus commences his acting career.  This is the most wonderful thing for him.  He loves to be the center of attention.  He's also the third boy in the family.  He's not really into athletics and couldn't compete with his older brother anyway. The role of bookworm son is already being played by his oldest brother.  But this -- be star of the show, oh yeah he's so got this.  And he walked on sunshine the rest of the day.  (literally singing the song -- let's hope there's no singing required)

With Church done we moved on to the pumpkin patch.  The kids love the pumpkin patch.  The boys try to pick the biggest pumpkins they can.  The Black Family rule is:  You can get the biggest pumpkin you can carry out of the patch and to the car.  Mr. Cool always pushes the envelope.  The princess picks out every pumpkin in the patch as hers before settling (usually) on the first one she spotted. And all six of us cut up and laugh throughout the patch.  The kids try to guess how much the biggest pumpkin weighs, and every year ask "Hey Dad could we get the big one this year?" The big one is usually 8 feet in diameter.  The answer is always no.

Back at home, the princess had been requesting to decorate the house for Halloween all week.  "We don't really do that, sweetie" was not a deterrent.  So yesterday afternoon we went out to buy Halloween decorations.  Again Mr. Cool declined, he and the King stayed home.  The three that came had very different visions of a yard/house for halloween.  Dino-man wanted spooky and scary. The Princess wanted goofy scary.  The Boo man wanted something in between.  We settled for spider webs, a furry spider, a goofy ghost and a few other things.  The hit for the Princess is a sparkly purple cat. The real cat, however is not a fan.

All done with the shopping we commenced pumpkin cleaning and carving.  Nobody likes cleaning out their pumpkin.

 I don't get why they can make seedless watermelons and still have stringy pumpkins. But I digress.

Once the pumpkins were cleaned, the King, pumpkin carver extraordinaire carves whatever their hearts desire.  We have a Princess, a Boo, a so goofy it's cool and a dinosaur lined up on our front porch.  Oh yeah and mine is "O" -- perhaps I yell too much.

It's really not about the finished product even though they are super cool jack-o-lanterns, it's really about the 4 or 5 hours that we joke and laugh in the kitchen.  It's about having a few precious hours to reconnect with the boys.  I am reminded all too often of the countdown that has begun.  Dino man has one more Halloween Pumpkin carving before college.  One more.  Sheesh.  How the heck did this happen?

I stayed on Green.

Is how the princess greeted me when I picked her up from school yesterday.  Do you know what that means?

She did it.  She stayed still during Circle Time.

And with those four simple words all the frustrations of the day floated off of my shoulders and out into the universe.

And Smug Mom tried to rear her smug little head and thoughts creeped into my head "Wow, that was easy.  Why didn't I think of this before?" until I realized,

I didn't know what I didn't think of. 

I didn't know why she stayed on green. 

I did not have any idea what made her behave in Circle Time.  I could not write a DIY book on how to make your child sit still and shut up and make a bazillion dollars, because every parent I know would want this secret.  After I played this scenario out in my head, I noticed that her pony tail with the braid was gone from her hair.

I asked what happened.  And the teacher from accross the room answered for her, "She wanted to look like Ava."

Huh?  What?  My independent, strong willed, free spirit wanted to look like someone else?  Huh?

And then as if sensing my confusion she clarified "Yeah Mommy, me and Ava were twins today."

When I realized my five year old daughter was diving into peer pressure head first, the stresses of the day slammed back down on my shoulders like the ton of bricks they were.

Things that made me smile September

The Princess yelling at the caterpillar eating her cherry tomatoes "Caterpillar stop eating my tomatoes, they are for my Dad's Ca-PRAY-zi salad." Daily, at the top of her lungs, for like 3 weeks.


My Jaybone asking me when I would make more Zucchini Bread.


My daughter's first Soccer Game. And the ghosts of my sons' childhoods on the field.


My Magpie and Sophums barking at me every time I walk in the door because they need to lick my face right then.


My Princess saying "My friend Emma is allergic to the leaves changing colors."


Kidding the Dino man about when the princess used to call him Da-woo.


Laughing about the apples we picked that I can't get rid of.


Watching the Dino Man spend two full Saturdays peeling apples.  And him saying he liked it.


Fighting with the sand that isn't holding the brick patio we laid in place.


The Princess trying to hide a bad note sent home from the teacher.


The Boo Man trying to convince me to sign his folder full of send home papers, without actually looking at the papers.


The Princess deciding to clean her room to earn a star for the chore chart, at 7:30 in the morning on a work/school day.


The never ending self-replenishing basket of yet-to-be matched socks that is permanently stuck in my living room.


Sharing my husband's birthday with him for the 12th time.